Mormon Lingo

When I talked about my religion while at Conserve there was some Mormon lingo that I had to explain, which was okay and even fun. Kai and Garrett are great people to talk religion with, because even though we were talking about religion they still managed to make it one of those conversations that you're just laughing the whole time...I miss you guys!

I was thinking about that conversation while reading one of the older New Era magazines and this piece caught my eye.

WHAT WE SAY	WHAT OTHERS MAY HEAR	WHAT WE MIGHT SAY INSTEAD
My ward …	My area of the hospital …	My congregation …
The stake dance is at the stake center.	The dance involving cuts of meat is at a storage center for cuts of meat.	The regional youth dance is at the regional church building.
At Mutual, we …	At the common [word missing], we …	At our youth activity night, we …
In this last dispensation …	In this last [something-or-other] …	In our day …
Apostasy	A lake of noodles?	Falling away
Deacons, teachers, priests	Men who work for a church, people who teach in school, and religious men in robes	Young men 12–13 years old, 14–15 years old, and 16–17 years old
Beehives, Mia Maids, Laurels	Where bees live, [no idea], and some kind of plants	Young women 12–13 years old, 14–15 years old, and 16–17 years old
Celestial kingdom	A fairy-tale land, maybe?	Heaven, or where Heavenly Father lives
Premortal existence	A parallel universe, perhaps?	Our life as spirits before we came to earth
I’m going to seminary.	I’m studying to become a minister.	I’m going to religion classes for youth.
We’re going to do baptisms for the dead.	We’re going to do something morbid.	We’re going to the temple to do special ceremonies on behalf of our ancestors.
My older brother is in institute.	My older brother is in an asylum.	My older brother goes to religion classes for young adults.
The gospel has been restored.	The stories inMatthew, Mark, Luke, and Johnhave been renovated. or Christ’s message has been refurbished. or Christianity as a whole has been repaired.	The Church that Christ established was changed and fell away, and now it’s been brought back, along with His true teachings.
We have our agency.	We have our business with clients.	We are free to choose.
Word of Wisdom	Good advice	Health code